Mom in training

So you would think after 16 years I would be getting better at this.  I think in some ways I am, I have definitely become a better baker, better at planning quick dinners, better at accepting I am a soccer mom and free cab service.  At this point in my life I have fixed hundreds of boo-boos, planned dozens of birthday celebrations, made countless sugar-free valentines, attended countless soccer games, snapped thousands of candid shots and made more meals in one day than should be necessary.  So what have I learned? Well here are a few of my mommy lessons so far:

1.  Don't ever start any project with the kids you aren't prepared to finish and clean up yourself
2.  Don't ever adopt any pet that you don't want to be your own
3.  Never stop saying I love you
4.  Don't forget to stop and really listen to your kids
5.  Don't get your feelings hurt when you try new recipes
6.  Counting to 10, 50 or 100 doesn't always work, when in doubt move to wine
7.  Always bring a change of clothes... for everyone
8.  Pack snacks, no matter how short your trip is, seat belts always cause hunger pains
9.  When things are too quiet something is usually wrong
10.  Make time for yourself

I am certain that child rearing is the most exhausting and rewarding experience in human existence.  It surprises me that there really is no formal training for this task.  You have to practice and test for so many things in life: driver's license, school, degree, work, CPR.  You need a license to own a pet, get married, practice medicine, law, accounting even sell real estate.  Yet you don't need more than functioning ovaries to become a mom.  There is no test, no training, no instructions and no follow ups.  You are basically winging it from the day they place that baby in your arms at the hospital to the day... you take your last breath?  Sometimes I laugh at the way we raised the first one, so far so good, but seriously the first one is like a guinea pig.  Lucky enough to be surrounded by other humans who would say, "I don't think she should eat that yet" or "that looks a lot like chicken pox".  If it weren't for these albeit sometimes annoying words of wisdom who knows if the first one would have even made it to age 5.  But she thrived and lucky for me is now old enough to help me with the other two.  Such a protective big sister, I jokingly tell her I know she will never let me keep her future children because I am just too much of a laid back mom.  I am comfortable letting my kids explore, sometimes they get dirty, sometimes they get bug bites, sometimes they fall down.  And sometimes they discover a killdeer nest in their very own backyard, sometimes they fall down and learn how to get up, sometimes they learn to swing all by themselves and every time they share their new experience with excitement and smiles.  Ah yes, these are the little wonders that make it all worth the stretch marks, wrinkles, sleepless nights, grown out hair color and hang nails.  The big hugs from tiny people, the "I missed you" and "I love you
", the best for me of course is the "that is really cool" and "you need to make that again".  These moments beat out all the likes on FB, Instagram & twitter; being cool to your kids is so much better than being cool to your social media friends.  Even knowing that in a few short moments your next "No" will turn you immediately into the worst villain from any Disney movie.  10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, Chardonnay.